Thursday, February 21, 2019

Belong

“You got very lucky,” the doctor said. He told me most rollover car accidents end with much worse injuries.

He discharged me from the hospital and my parents hugged me in the parking lot before they took me back to school.

I walked into the building and straight to the gym, where I knew my friend Ryan Bell was waiting for his weight training class to begin. I marched into the gym and I saw him standing in front of the bleachers. I marched straight up to him and I hugged him, for the first time ever. And instead of being startled, wondering what in the world I was doing, he hugged me back.

“I just got in a car accident,” I told him with my face pressed into his shirt.

“That was you?” he asked. “I heard about that. What are you doing back at school?!”

“I don’t know,” I admitted.  

But maybe somewhere deep down, I did.

Maybe I was back at school because even then, even before he was my husband and I was his wife, even before we were a couple in any sense of the word, my heart was already his. And my heart needed him in that moment.

We talked about that last weekend, about how strange it was that he was the first and only thing I wanted in that moment. I started dating someone else just a week later, and went on to date that guy off-and-on for almost three years.

We did not, for whatever reason, start our happily ever after right then and there. But somehow in that moment, our hearts already knew what our brains still did not: we belonged together.

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